Frequently given answers

This is where you figure out the questions.  It’s humor, sarcasm, contempt, whatever, but definitely intended to make a point:

☻       Jesus isn’t lost, but I think you are!

☻       I can’t give Him what He already owns—he bought and paid for me with His blood.

☻       If I pray to Him, I already believe in Him.

☻       Let me get this straight, God talked to Mary through an angel, Joseph through a dream, but He talks to you directly?

☻       If I were hearing voices, I’d see a shrink.

☻       No, no; it’s creeds not deeds (Romans 10:9)!

☻       Yes, in fact I am saying you are sinning when you do that, as Isaiah said, “All our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.”  Now that we’ve got that out of the way, can we talk constructively about why (acting like a clown when leading worship, using those hymns, ruining or not using the liturgy, etc.) is a problem?

☻       Ummm, I don’t think there’s actually a conflict between the two, but evangelism based on false doctrine doesn’t save anyone.  Maybe you should to get the doctrine right before you go out and run off at the mouth.

☻       So, you don’t change your underwear, brush your teeth, flush the toilet, sleep, look both ways for cars, or take bathes either?

☻       Do you also let him choose his own food, whether or not he wants to go to school, and if he’s going to wear a seat belt or not?

☻       If you jusswanna, then do it!

☻       Really, I don’t care how wicked a life you led; you really shouldn’t be bragging about that.

☻       It’s not about creation, it’s about salvation.

☻       No, He is not your boyfriend.

☻       Who cares?  We’re supposed to obey Him, not imitate Him.

☻       If that’s true, then what was He pointing to in the second part?

☻       Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t go anywhere.  After all, I’m only human.  Instead Jesus comes to me.  After all, He is God.

☻       Where does it say that they’re fiction?

☻       So, you believe that God created the world in six days, but that He can’t make Jesus’ body and blood present in the Lord’s Supper?

☻       Actually, He wants you to be saved.

☻       Because you are a sinner.

☻       Why shouldn’t it?

☻       Ooh, a secret door!